And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
