? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
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