I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
only you would photoshop your dick
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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