Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
