Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
