fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
