walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
