This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
