Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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