This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
