every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
