i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
