i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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