just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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