I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
