I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
