So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We had to coat check the pizza.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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