I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
