obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
