you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Randomize
