My room smells like vodka and shame
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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