eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
