No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
