I can tuck mytits in my pants
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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