He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
