Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
