would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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