How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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