ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
