You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
My pussy is not your playground.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
