proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
