i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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