even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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