if you like me you must not know who I am
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
