it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
