you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
