Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
