I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
