But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
