I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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