Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
