me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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