Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
