playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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