How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
