I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
