i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
