do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
