chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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