Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
